Stephen Colbert has the last word on the Mossad sharks

December 13, 2010 · Posted in Uncategorized · Comments Off 
Israel Shark Conspiracy
The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog</a> March to Keep Fear Alive

(h/t Yid With Lid)



Elder of Ziyon

Egypt’s shark week: Mossad to blame?

December 7, 2010 · Posted in The Capitol · Comments Off 

Five
tourists have been attacked by sharks (with one killed) over the past week in
the waters off Egypt’s Red Sea coast, a vacation area especially popular with snorkelers
and scuba divers. And nobody knows what to do.

Despite the
frequent depiction of the
cartilaginous fish as terrifying man eaters, these kinds of attacks are
actually very rare. The Egyptian government has brought in experts from
around the world to help solve the shark crisis. So far no one has arrived at a
definitive conclusion, but possible explanations include over fishing in the
Red Sea, an excess of resorts along the coast, and the effects of climate
change
.

There’s
another theory floating around, though: Israel’s infamous intelligence agency
is behind the attacks. Ahram Online reports (and refutes):

Speaking on
the public TV program "Egypt Today" yesterday, a specialist
introduced as "Captain Mustafa Ismael, a famous diver in Sharm El
Sheikh," said that the sharks involved in the attack are ocean sharks and
do not live in Egypt’s waters.

When asked
by the anchor how the shark entered Sharm El Sheikh waters, he burst out,
"no, who let them in."

Urged to
elaborate, Ismael said that he recently got a call from an Israeli diver in
Eilat telling him that they captured a small shark with a GPS planted in its
back, implying that the sharks were monitored to attack in Egypt’s waters only.

"Why would these
sharks travel 4000 km and not have any accidents until it entered Sinai?"
said Ismael.

Earlier
today, General Abdel Fadeel Shosha, the governor of South Sinai, backed
Ismael’s theory. In a phone call to the TV program, he said that it is possible
that Israeli intelligence, Mossad, is behind the incident and that they are
doing it to undermine the Egyptian tourism industry. He added that Egypt needs
time to investigate the theory.

The shark attacks
have the potential to do some real damage to Egypt, where tourism is pillar of
the economy and an important provider of jobs. But the idea that Israel (which
is currently dealing with its own Nature Channel-worthy crisis) is
behind the attacks is pretty farfetched.

FP Passport

The Mossad Shark Plot: Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go Back in the Water…

December 6, 2010 · Posted in The Capitol · Comments Off 

This is just too much.   Next in the news?  Israel is cloning dinosaurs to destroy Iran’s nuclear program!

“Shark attacks on tourists in the Red Sea have triggered a flurry of speculation as to what could have caused them, with suggestions ranging from overfishing to an Israeli plot to harm Egyptian tourism.

The body of a 70-year-old German woman washed up on the shore at Egypt’s Sharm el-Sheikh on the Red Sea after an attack on Sunday. Officials said the shark had taken a chunk out of her right thigh and bitten through her right elbow.

Egypt had just lifted a ban on swimming in parts of the area imposed after three Russians and a Ukrainian were injured in shark attacks last week.

The government has invited international experts to help locate the killer shark but officials were at loss as to what could have caused its behavior.

‘There is not one reason that will be ignored. We are seeking any reason that causes a change in shark behavior,’ Ahmed el-Edkawi, assistant secretary for the South Sinai region, told Reuters.

Some said sharks had been drawn to shallow waters after cattle being shipped in for last month’s Islamic feast of the sacrifice, or Eid al-Adha, had died and were thrown overboard.

Others suggested it could have been part of a secret plot by Israel’s Mossad intelligence agency.

‘What is being said about the Mossad throwing the deadly shark (in the sea) to hit tourism in Egypt is not out of the question, but it needs time to confirm,’ South Sinai Governor Mohamed Abdel Fadil Shousha was quoted as saying by state news site egynews.net.”

Big Peace

Mossad sends Zionist sharks to attack innocent Egyptians

December 6, 2010 · Posted in The Capitol · Comments Off 

First came the Zionist squirrels, the Zionist pigeons, and the Zionist rats, and now this. Conspiracy Paranoia Update: “Egypt puzzled after string of Red Sea shark attacks,” by Mohamed Zaki for Reuters, December 6 (thanks to all who sent this in):

SHARM EL-SHEIKH (Reuters) - Shark attacks on tourists in the Red Sea have triggered a flurry of speculation as to what could have caused them, with suggestions ranging from overfishing to an Israeli plot to harm Egyptian tourism.

The body of a 70-year-old German woman washed up on the shore at Egypt’s Sharm el-Sheikh on the Red Sea after an attack Sunday. Officials said the shark had taken a chunk out of her right thigh and bitten through her right elbow.

Egypt had just lifted a ban on swimming in parts of the area imposed after three Russians and a Ukrainian were injured in shark attacks last week.

The government has invited international experts to help locate the killer shark but officials were at loss as to what could have caused its behaviour.

“There is not one reason that will be ignored. We are seeking any reason that causes a change in shark behaviour,” Ahmed el-Edkawi, assistant secretary for the South Sinai region, told Reuters.

Some said sharks had been drawn to shallow waters after cattle being shipped in for last month’s Islamic feast of the sacrifice, or Eid al-Adha, had died and were thrown overboard.

Others suggested it could have been part of a secret plot by Israel’s Mossad intelligence agency.

“What is being said about the Mossad throwing the deadly shark (in the sea) to hit tourism in Egypt is not out of the question, but it needs time to confirm,” South Sinai Governor Mohamed Abdel Fadil Shousha was quoted as saying by state news site egynews.net….

Jihad Watch

Telegraph(UK) says Mossad behind Iranian scientist hit

December 6, 2010 · Posted in Uncategorized · Comments Off 

From the Telegraph (UK):

Inside a secret bomb-proof building in a Tel Aviv suburb, which Google Earth does not include on its website, some of the occupants last week exchanged high-fives at their work stations. According to insiders, several sent each other the same message: The Chief’s Last Hit.

That “chief” was Meir Dagan, the outgoing head of Mossad. On his first day in office eight years ago, Mr Dagan had stood on a table in the organisation’s canteen and promised to support any operation against any of Israel’s enemies, with every means he had — legal or illegal.

He could allow his field agents to use prescribed nerve toxins, dumdum bullets and methods of killing that even the Russian or Chinese secret services would not use.

“We are like the hangman, or the doctor on Death Row who administers the lethal injection,” he said, as – by his own account – his agents listened, enthralled.

“Our actions are all endorsed by the state of Israel. When we kill we are not breaking the law. We are fulfilling a sentence sanctioned by the prime minister of the day.”

Earlier this month, “the chief” and a small team of specialists — analysts, weapons experts and psychologists – met in a conference room adjoining his office. With them was a brigadier-general, the head of the kidon. Named after the Hebrew word for bayonet, the kidon is a unit with 38 elite assassins at its disposal, including five women.

Operating out of a military base in the Negev Desert, all are in their twenties, and trained both as expert killers and as expert linguists: a number are fluent in Persian.

Last Monday, a thousand miles further east in the Iranian capital, Tehran, it appears that the kidon put both of those skills into practice, killing a top nuclear scientist and critically injuring a second as they drove through the rush-hour traffic.

Both were key figures in the Iranian nuclear programme, which Tehran insists is for civilian use only, but which Mossad has long perceived as the ultimate expression of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s threat to “wipe Israel off the map”.

In one car was 45-year-old Majid Shahriyari, Iran’s leading expert in designing nuclear switches, a key part in the construction of nuclear weapons. Ali Alker Saler, an Iranian nuclear official, has described Shahriyari’s work as “only handling the big projects”.

The week before he was assassinated, the nuclear scientist had returned from North Korea. Intelligence sources in Seoul have suggested that Mr Shahriyari had gone to Pyongyang to discuss a co-production deal over nuclear centrifuges.

Claims have also emerged that on his flight home via Syria, a Mossad deep cover agent had spotted Mr Shahriyari at Damascus International Airport as he waited for a connecting flight to Tehran.

In another quarter of Tehran, another top nuclear scientist, Fareydoun Abbasi-Davani, was also on his way to work at his laboratory at Shahid Beheshti University.

A world expert on isotope separation, he was routinely driven around by a member of the Revolutionary Guards and, like Mr Shahriyari, had a phone link on his car to Tehran’s security headquarters. That, however, was the only protection the car had.

To assist in the attack, Persian-speaking Mossad deep cover agents have been steadily infiltrating Iran for years. How exactly they helped the hitmen flit in and out of the country remains a secret.

But clues to their methods have been provided by Hossein Sajedina, Tehran’s police chief. He confirmed last week how Shahriyari was killed and Abbasi-Davani seriously injured. “Two motorcyclists had approached their cars and attached bombs on the vehicle which exploded at once,” he said.

There have been unconfirmed reports that the bombs had suction pads fitted to them which had enabled them to be attached to the windscreen of each car.

Within hours Mr Sajedina had accused Mossad of the crimes. In Tel Aviv a government spokesman said Israel had not been involved.

When the news reached Mossad headquarters, the high-fives started, I am told. Yet the day the attack was carried out had also been chosen by “the chief” to formally announce his resignation.



Elder of Ziyon

Dubai’s police chief: “Mossad tried to kill me!”

November 4, 2010 · Posted in Uncategorized · Comment 

The Chief Police Clown of Dubai just can’t shut up, but since he ran out of things to say about six months ago,  now he’s just making stuff up as he goes along.

Al Quds al-Arabi reports on his latest claims.

Even though Canada denied that they had arrested anyone associated with the assassination of Mahmoud Al Mabhouh, Lieutenant-General Dahi Khalfan Tamim insists that his information is more accurate. In fact, now he knows that not only did Canada arrest one of the Mossad spies, but after the arrest he (escaped? and) went to safety in the United States!

Normally, that would be enough bizarre theories for one interview, but Lt-Gen Dahi has more:

He says that Mabhouh was not on his way to Iran, but rather to China. Moreover, Mabhouh in previous visits to Dubai (remember, with a false passport) never went to Iran afterwards.

But wait - there’s more!

Dahi also says that the Mossad is really, really, really angry at him for his fantastic police work that has yet to result in a single arrest directly connected to the murder. They are so mad, they tried to kill him as well! Unfortunately, no details are forthcoming on this claim. I’m sure that the team of would-be assassins are in Dubai jail right now, since Khalfan obviously foiled the plot.

And he said that the Mossad isn’t so great, anyway. (I guess they aren’t if they couldn’t even kill him.) You see, the Mossad sent 42 people to kill a single, unarmed man - how hard can that be?

Yes, he said 42. Apparently the number of suspects has been continuing to grow while we weren’t looking.

Elder of Ziyon

PA authorities now say Jewish supermarket is a Mossad operation

September 22, 2010 · Posted in Uncategorized · Comment 

The Rami Levy supermarket chain has been attracting many Palestinian Arabs in the West Bank because of its good service and low prices, and has become a model of peaceful co-existence between the Jews and Arabs in the West Bank - a perfect counter-example to the thousands of news stories vilifying “settlers” as evil Arab-hating bigots.

Already in May, PA leaders were darkly warning Arab residents not to shop at Rami Levy, saying that  the PA is watching and keeping track of those disgraceful people who want to shop at this Jewish-owned chain.

In August, they tried a different tack. They claimed that the meat at Rami Levy was poisoned and rotten. And they reiterated that they are watching exactly who goes shopping there

Obviously these efforts at demonizing great selections of good food at good prices failed, because now the PA is trying yet another method to discourage peaceful co-existence between Arabs and Jews: They are claiming that the Mossad is recruiting collaborators between aisles 3 and 4.

Palestine Press Agency says that the Consumer Protection Agency in Hebron has warned that one of their members was approached by a woman in Rami Levy asking him for information about any terrorists he might be know about.

Besides the fact that the story is almost certainly bogus, there is another point about this article.

The subtext of the entire accusation is that protecting terrorists from Israel is a key moral imperative for all Palestinian Arabs.

Elder of Ziyon

Today’s insane Arab rumor: Mossad training Al Qaeda in Africa

September 16, 2010 · Posted in Uncategorized · Comment 

An Algerian newspaper, En Nahar, is claiming to have evidence that Israel is working together with Al Qaeda members in Africa in order to de-stabilize various northern African Muslim states.

The original claim comes from some supposedly Jewish anti-Zionist group.

Apparently, the Mossad is training Al Qaeda to kidnap Europeans and hold them for ransom, and also  teaching them to work the drug and human trafficking trades. This causes Europeans to put political pressure on Algeria and other Maghreb states, ultimately to make them fail. Or something like that.

This story has been picked up by a number of other Arabic news sites.

Interestingly, the same newspaper had a somewhat similar report in April 2009, in their English language edition:

According to sources well informed on the case and the activities of El Qaeda, Israel would have created about a year, training camps on its territory for elements from Arab countries.

The military training and intelligence are provided in preparation for possible terrorist operations against the interests of foreign countries in the Arab countries who are regarded by Israel as a threat to its security and its strategic interests, including the Maghreb Arab.

According to our sources, the camps include Arabs from Algeria, Morocco and Yemen who came in, with false passports, from Europe and carrying Jewish names. These were recruited by the Mossad in the European capitals to activate within the ‘El Qaeda’ organization after being selected by the intelligence services in Europe. These people are generally wanted for belonging to terrorist groups.

The secret training camps have relations with the sleeping cells of El Qaida in Europe, where their elements are recruited for possible terrorist operations in Arab countries in coordination with the branches of the organization including the armed terrorist groups of the Sahara. 

We have to get these guys in touch with Ken O’Keefe. Who knows what heights of insanity they could reach if only they worked together!

Elder of Ziyon

Follow-up on “Mossad hack” of Saudi TV

September 13, 2010 · Posted in Uncategorized · Comment 

Last week I mentioned a rumor going around the Arab world that Israelis hacked the popular Saudi MBC network to broadcast messages of peace, using an Israeli-looking woman.

Firas Press got a screenshot:

The subtitle says “Our presence on Earth means happiness for you.”

One of the commenters thinks that is was actually an ad for a show on a sister MBC network, called MBC Action. It looks like MBC Action mostly plays American shows.

But if she is either Israeli, Jewish or a celebrity, I’m sure that some reader of this blog will recognize her….

(h/t Ali for translation)

Elder of Ziyon

Story of a Mossad hit

August 30, 2010 · Posted in Uncategorized · Comment 

On August 2, 2008, I quoted a Jordanian paper:

Well known sources informed Albawaba that General Mohammed Suleiman, an adviser to Syrian president Bashar al Assad, was assassinated on Friday. Suleiman also served as Syria’s liaison officer to Lebanon’s Hizbullah movement.

According to the sources, Suleiman was shot dead by a sniper in the Syrian port city of Tartous. They added the funeral service will be held on Sunday in Suleiman’s home-town of Driekesh which is located less than 20 kilometers away from Tartous.

The sources told Albawaba the Syrian authorities have been making huge efforts to prevent the publication of the news regarding Suleiman’s killing. It should be mentioned that on February 13, 2008 Imad Moughniyeh, the military commander of Hizbullah, was assassinated in Damascus.

I commented then:

Syria’s formerly airtight grip on internal security seems to be unraveling.

My implication that it was an internal Syrian hit was wrong.

From YNet, in a fascinating article that you really need to read about Israel’s bombing of the Syrian nuclear reactor:

On the evening of August 2, 2008, 11 months after the bombing of the reactor, a festive dinner was held on the terrace of a summer house in Rimal al-Zahabiya, north of the Syrian city of Tartous. The summer house was adjacent to the shore and had a magnificent view. The terrace overlooked the sea and served as a refuge from the summer’s high humidity. The guests were close friends of the house’s owner, General Mohammed Suleiman, who had traveled there for a weekend break.

Suleiman was President Assad’s top aide on military and security matters. He was in charge of the reactor’s construction and its security. Government circles in Damascus referred to him Assad’s shadow. His office was located in the presidential palace, next to Assad’s, and few knew him in Syria and abroad. While Suleiman’s name was not mentioned in the media, Mossad and Western intelligence agencies knew him and his actions well. The 47-year-old Syrian was an engineering graduate of Damascus University. During his studies he befriended Basil Assad, then-President Hafez Assad’s firstborn son and Bashar Assad’s older brother. After Basil’s death in a road accident, his father was sure to bring Suleiman close to himself and his heir. In 2000, Hafez Assad died and his son Bashar was elected president. With his rise to power, the young president made Suleiman his confidant and close advisor.

Suleiman played a unique role: He was a member of the Syrian research board, which dealt with the development of missiles, chemical and biological weapons and nuclear research and development. As part of his job, he was Syria’s contact with North Korea. He coordinated the transfer of the reactor’s parts to Syria and was in charge of security arrangements for the North Korean scientists and technicians involved in its construction. The reactor’s bombing was a serious blow for Suleiman, but not a lethal one. After overcoming the initial shock, he began to plan the construction of an alternate reactor, for which a location had yet to be determined. Suleiman’s new mission was much more complex and difficult than before, since he was now aware that he was on the Israeli and American intelligence agencies’ radars.

Ahead of the next phase of his secret mission, Suleiman took a few days off and traveled to his summer home. A vacation and dinner with his friends was the best medicine for the pressure he was under. From his seat by the table he watched the waves lazily crawling up the shore. But what he didn’t see, at a distance of some 150 meters (165 yards) from the terrace, was two figures waiting, motionless in the dark water. They reached this point from a far off distance in a ship that dropped them off some two 2 kilometers (1.2 miles) from Suleiman’s house. From there they dived until they neared his home. The two were professional snipers, possessing a wealth of experience and nerves of steel. They carried their weapons in water-proof covers. When they reached the shore they immediately spotted Suleiman’s house. The information they received from their country’s intelligence agency was accurate. They identified the building and the terrace, scanned the people seated at the table and focused on their target: The general sitting opposite them, among his guests.

Around 9 pm the snipers returned to test their aim and range. They watched Suleiman, sitting on a chair at the center of the table surrounded by his friends. It was crowded around the table, which forced the snipers to reset their focus and aim at the host’s head. They continued to hide in the water. Then the signal was given. The two emerged from the water to the shore, moved closer to the house, aimed their rifles and shot Suleiman simultaneously. The hit was lethal. His head was first jolted back and then collapsed forward on the table. Those present did not understand what had happened, because they didn’t hear a sound – the rifles were equipped with silencers. Only after they noticed the blood flowing from Suleiman’s head did they realize he had been shot. A commotion broke out on the terrace, which enabled the snipers to flee via a pre-planned escape route. The Sunday Times reported a slightly different version, saying the snipers were IDF Flotilla 13 commandoes who arrived in Tartous on a luxury yacht belonging to an Israeli businessman, carried out their mission, and vanished.

Sometimes, it really is the Mossad that assassinates major Arab figures.

Elder of Ziyon

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